
TRACK LISTING
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One afternoon, after listening to copious amounts of the Scissor Sisters, I got in the shower and suddenly decided I wanted to write a disco hit that would make everybody feel happy inside. I am terrible for writing songs in the shower, I end up in there for like an hour singing away to myself and annoying my parents by taking up all the hot water. But anyway, I got the chorus stuck in my head and the rest as they say, was history. I am one of those geeks who walks around town with their Ipod on mouthing all the words to whatever I'm listening to... I love music so much, I listen to it all the time and I believe music has the power to speak to you and make you feel like you're not alone. That's what this song is about really... It's not gonna judge you baby, it's always been there to save me.
So a few months ago I got into a slightly embarrassing situation... You know, a friend of a friend gets a bit carried away with themselves, American contacts over-exaggerate the facts.... and yeah, next thing you know I'm telling everyone I'm on the verge of selling an old song to Ashlee Simpson. WELL I THOUGHT I WAS OK, I REALLY THOUGHT SHE WANTED IT. Surprise, surprise nothing came of this whole fiasco... or did it? Because even though no one actually wanted my song it made me come to a sudden realisation. The prospect of actually selling a song I had written to a pop star, well it was exciting! I had dabbled with the idea of songwriting for others but I always thought that I could never bear to part with a song I had written. But the thing is, writing in mind for other people... it's completely different. There are songs which are mine that I could never part with, but then there are songs which don't tell my story, they're sat waiting for the right person to find them.
I decided because that cow Ashlee wasn't really interested in my song I would write something new that she would love, you know.. just in case the chance ever came up again to sell it to her.
Well that chance hasn't come up yet, but I do have a pretty nifty song out of it which happens to be called Addicted. And in fact me and Ash liked it so much we chose it out of a much longer list completely last minute to be one of the final 8. It turned out to be one of the best tracks on there so I'm really glad we picked it!! But still it's there waiting for someone else if they want it, just got to hope the right person hears it!
As for the subject of the song, well it's about a bad girl!! This guy is drawn to her but keeps trying to pull away because he knows she's no good... but it's no use because he's ADDICTED!!! *cue robot voice* Oh yeah!!
Up until quite recently I have been a total loser in love... I was the girl at school who never had a boyfriend, then as I got older I fell for a whole number of guys who just didn't feel the same way about me as I did about them. I really thought I was going to be alone forever and turn into one of those crazy cat ladies or something. But then a year and a half ago I met my boyfriend Mat and everything changed. He actually WOOED me (sorry I know this is the 21st century), I wasn't so lonely anymore and I finally had a relationship where the one I loved actually loved me back. I figured I had enough songs about feeling miserable and heartbroken, it was time to write a song about the joys of having someone special in my life :)
It seems like such a cliche now, especially as he has SO many songs written about him, but yes this was inspired by Pete Doherty. I don't even like The Libertines all that much but we were studying him at college and I just found his whole tragic story.... I don't know, fascinating. This was before the days of Amy Winehouse being shoved down everyones throats, but really it could be about her as well. These people are just walking cautionary tales. And they need help, not to be hounded by the press and made into some kind of hero-figure. They aren't the heroes of the world, they are just people caught up in a blur of drugs and too many late nights. Getting caught up in that world isn't cool and it's no way to create music, it just destroys everything. People who are clean-cut are always mocked and seen as uncool, but hey they are the ones who will be alive to actually carry on their music careers. Look at Cliff Richard, he's about 1000 now.
This was inspired by 2 people at the time who I was majorly crushing on.... Now I am pretty sure they both knew I liked them, I mean you just KNOW when people like you don't you? If someone likes me but I don't like them, I take it as a sincere compliment and I am nice to them and try not to hurt their feelings. But do you know what these guys did? Everytime a hot girl came into the room they were like "OH SHE'S SO HOOOTTT, I SO WOUULLLD" or started going on about snogging random girls, and bringing up things like that which were so obviously intended to make me feel jealous and thus stroke their pathetic egos.
There is the perfect line by my hero Tori Amos in the song "Precious Things" that says "So you can make me cum, that doesn't make you Jesus" I guess these are the sentiments I wanted to convey, only in a slightly more, you know, family friendly way.
So taking inspiration from The Pipettes and their 60's style, plus a hint of Lily Allen who was big at the time... Selfish Boy was written. GET OVER YOURSELF YOU STUPID BOYS.
I have to admit, this song is my favourite on the album and the one I wanted to get absolutely perfect. I think me and Ash succeeded :)
Last year I was let down really badly by someone - I think you guys all known the story by now, but I had a lot of faith and trust in someone who I considered to be something of a mentor to me. He was my teacher and I admired him, I thought we had a real connection through music and I was so excited to be working with him and getting an album together. He promised me the whole world, but at the end of the day it was all talk and lies. He abandoned me and our project and left me to pick up all the pieces. I had put all my eggs in one basket and I felt completely lost - all my friends around me were getting on with their lives, going to Uni and making their paths while I just felt stuck at square one with nowhere to go. And it wasn't just that our project had failed, it was the fact we hadn't even tried. The fact that I had been royally stabbed in the back by someone I looked up to. I got really depressed and basically locked myself in my room all week where I wrote this song.
Now I can look at things with a very different perspective. Local legend Nick Courtney snapped me out of things with a long chat over hot chocolate, and was the one who got me and Ash working together. Now look at how much I have achieved in only a few short months, I am at a completely different place now to where I was then. I think everything happens for a reason, and things were meant to happen this way. I have gotten further in 4 months than I ever got in TWO YEARS waiting for something to happen with Martin. And this is just the beginning, I never needed him at all. I can only hope he wakes up and realises what he's been missing out on.
It's really weird, sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a double life. It's like I'll do a gig in the evening and have people cheering and coming up and telling me they love my music and I will feel really proud of myself... then the next morning it'll be back to Blockbuster, being treated like crap by customers and everything. It's not like I think "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!" because I'm hardly Madonna haha! But I do think, hey I'm an interesting person and there is more to me than just this shitty job. I sometimes feel like work is my life and defines who I am, people don't really see beyond that sometimes. Ultimately, this song is about wanting to break free and proving to all the people who doubt you that you can do it. And maybe by the time they realise it then it will be too late, you'll have flown.
This is my big Damien Rice-esque sweeping song to end the album, and it was one I really wanted to get recorded as I might never get the chance to do it again. People have said it's quite a miserable song... but I don't see it that way, I think it's sort of uplifting to listen to these songs because you know that you're not the only one in the world who has felt sad about things. There is a big storm in this song.... but storms pass.
I wrote it when I was really down at college a few years ago... I was commuting to and from Brighton 3 times a week and would spend loads of time out in the cold rain all alone. I felt lonely, I wasn't fitting in well with my classmates, my love life was appalling to say the least, I missed all my friends who had just moved away for Uni and my music was going nowhere at the time. I just felt like nothing was going right and that the fates were conspiring against me. I wrote this song about the complete hopelessness of it all... and weirdly enough, a little while after I wrote it things started to change. I met Mat, I bonded with my classmates, I started getting more confidence and people became more interested in my songs. I feel like there was a guardian angel watching over me who heard it and decided to help me out.
So there we have it... I hope you've got a bit more idea of the songs now and how they came about, and most of all I hope you'll like them!!
What's that? 9 tracks? I don't know what you're talking about. There's no hidden track on there about something as stupid as a bad haircut. Honestly.
Becky Jerams x

BECKY JERAMS - ONE MORE STEP CD - £5